Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize