dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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