Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
