walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
