like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
