if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
