hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You are the jesus of drinking
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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