thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
