it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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