Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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