We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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