i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
