There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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