This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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