they need to just BURY HIM!
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
