fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
