Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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