this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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