scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize