Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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