they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
