I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I have fence marks all over my body
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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