Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
