Whod you bang
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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