I don't remember. Are we still dating?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize