i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
