The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
