Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Randomize
