But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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