Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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