I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
