I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
