my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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