I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
