btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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