my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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