Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
