I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
50% drunk capacity currently
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
