saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
