Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
