so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
