Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
