"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
