So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
