Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
