You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
