People with herpes should wear stickers.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize