sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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