i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
