well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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