I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
