That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
