clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize