hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
