I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize