I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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