we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
