i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
