hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
