You're completely useless in the revolution.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
